The benefits of mediation

From Lawpack's DIY Separation & Divorce.

The breakdown of any relationship is a traumatic business. We all invest a great deal, emotionally and materially, in marriage and it's hard to escape the feelings of bitterness and even betrayal so often associated with its breakdown. Unfortunately, these feelings can be exacerbated by court proceedings.

There can also be an inevitable sense that the lawyers have taken over. Worse still, if disputes have to be settled by a court, the decision may be one which is unacceptable to both of you and the expense of court hearings can be out of proportion to the reality of the dispute.

Mediation can offer you both another way. Professionally trained mediators are completely neutral and non-directive. You will each be given the time and opportunity to explain your individual problems and you will then be seen together to help you both understand each other's point of view. It's astonishing how often a couple are unable to talk to one another at all, let alone listen to what the other is trying to say.

The mediator will help you to realise where there are areas of agreement and encourage each of you to suggest possible ways in which the disputes that have arisen may be resolved. In financial disputes the mediator will help you to identify your assets and needs, and then look at possible ways to arrive at a fair division.

Mediation is completely confidential, except where there is a disclosure of a risk to someone, particularly a child. Both of you are encouraged to report back to yourr solicitors about the progress of the mediation and any eventual proposals for agreement. The proposals reached will not be legally binding unless the solicitors take steps to have them made orders of the court.

The process of mediation can empower both of you to reach your own decisions. If you can, this is of enormous benefit not only to yourselves but, even more crucially, to your children. It takes the heat out of disagreement. Mediated agreements are likely to last longer than court orders. The fact that you have both been able to agree about what should happen to the children means that you should find it easier to negotiate any changes to the agreement which may become necessary as time passes.

Compared with court proceedings, mediation is extremely cheap. If you do reach agreement, that agreement can be made into a court order by consent, without the necessity of anyone actually going to court to give evidence.

Organisations throughout the country that provide mediation include National Family Mediation and Family Mediation Scotland.

Law stated as at 1 September, 2006

04 July 2008