10 Things You Need to Do After a Divorce

After investing all your emotional (and financial) energies into a painful divorce for so long, life can feel very empty when it's finally all over. Family lawyer Philippa Pearson gives her ten tips on where to channel all those energies after the divorce has been settled.

1. Make a Will.
   
   This is often overlooked in the rush to get away from all things legal, but it can be absolutely crucial and if you can't bear the thought of seeing another lawyer, get a DIY pack, such as Lawpack's DIY Last Will & Testament Kit. Death happens to us all and it's wise to plan for it, especially after a divorce, as it can affect any Will you already have. It's particularly important to have a Will where you have a new significant relationship, since the last thing you want to leave behind, if you have an untimely death, is a battle over your estate between your 'first' and 'second' family. If you leave really clear provision in a Will that caters for them all, you should avoid this.
   
   
2. Change your name.
   
   This obviously applies if you're a woman and you want to leave your married name behind. The easiest way to change it is to enter into a change of name deed. A simple one can be found in Lawpack's 301 Legal Forms Letters & Agreements or you can use any one of the online change of name deeds that are available.
   
   
3. Put your children first.
   
   However much you will have tried to protect them during the divorce, your children will have been aware of the stress and tension the divorce has put on you and your ex. Let them know that Mummy and Daddy have resolved their differences (with or without the nice Judge) and that they will try not to argue anymore. Spend lots of time with your children.
   
   
4. Allow your ex to collect their things in a calm and peaceful fashion.
   
   Divide up the household contents as soon as possible after the divorce, but avoid the temptation to crease up all your ex's clothes in bin liners and give them odd cups and saucers. Rise above the difficulties you have had and, if possible, do a little act of kindness or two that they won't expect to demonstrate that the rancour is all over for you (even if you're not quite sure it is!).
   
   
5. Close any joint bank and savings accounts.
   
   Also, destroy all joint credit and charge cards, or surrender them to the credit card company (if you didn't do this at separation) and notify them that you no longer have responsibility for new debts of your former spouse. Finally, open new accounts in your name alone and with a change of address, if applicable.
   
   
6. Don't be put off relationships.
   
   Remember that the odds are in your favour that you will meet a significant other within three years. Get back into the dating scene. Let your friends know that you are free for dinner and join those dating agencies. You could even return to the clubbing scene (if you think that it might still be your thing, but only after you have done number 5 - whatever you do, don't go clubbing in the gear you wore before you were married!).
   
   
7. Ensure that your financial order is actually put into effect.
   
   Obtaining the formal court order isn't in itself enough, particularly for such things as orders to transfer policies or property. The law is very strict as to how ownership of items such as these can be passed, so don't make the mistake of thinking that the order alone is sufficient. Take legal advice to ensure that the order is properly put into effect and chase your solicitor if you think that they may have put your file away and forgotten to finish the job off properly.
   
   
8. Restyle yourself and throw a party (or lots of dinner parties).
   
   Join that gym, get that haircut, buy that new jacket and, most importantly, have fun being the new you. Let everyone know that the bad times are over and that you want to have fun again.
   
   
9. Invest your money wisely.
   
   Arrange to see a financial advisor to make your settlement work for you. Plan for your retirement as early as possible.
   
   
10. Go on holiday!
    
    You will need a break and no one will be checking your expenditure now. Treat yourself - you deserve it! You have just been through one of life's most difficult and stressful situations and you have survived. Recharge those batteries in the best way you know how - lie on a beach, sip cocktails, climb mountains or even go white water rafting...the choice is all yours!

Further information

Make your own Will using Lawpack's Last Will & Testament Kit

Download now all the forms you need to write your own Will using Lawpack's Last Will & Testament eKit

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